The Lies Our Brains Tell Us

By Dorice Horenstein

What if you acted on every thought that came through your mind? Have you tried that?

In 2005, the National Science Foundation published an article on human thoughts. The average person has between 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day.

Can you imagine taking an action on every thought? We would literally be running around like “chickens with their heads cut off” (which by the way, is no joke- chickens do run around like that!)

Of those thousands of thoughts, it was found in the same research that 80% of the thoughts were negative. In another study at Cornell university in 2005, it was noted that 85% of what we worry about never happens!

Let that sink in!

Yet, we constantly allow our brains to tell us “lies.”

“I am not good enough.” “I am not going to  succeed.” “I am not going to get this promotion or deal.” “I have no friends.” “My boss hates me.”

Sometimes our brains deliver thoughts with the misleading lie of calming us down: “No good will come out of speaking our truth, so let’s keep quiet.”

What is the lie that your brain is telling you right now? And what is the impact this has made in your life?  Assuming you are the average person with thousands of thoughts, reflect how it has impacted your life. Has your stress decreased? Are you calmer? Happier?

Ask Why

Perhaps a more important question to ask is why. Why does our brain produce more negative thoughts that never come to fruition? FEAR is one possible answer. Fear developed long ago as danger was looming outside of our villages, when humans lived in uncertainty: what will come next? It has therefore become normal for our human tendency to anticipate what can go wrong rather than what can go right. We have trained ourselves throughout our existence as humans to operate out of fear and less out of love.

So now what can we do? Clearly, we are not living under duress conditions that require us to be on the lookout for danger daily.

Realize that your brain is telling you something in an attempt to “protect you”. And as a result, these “lies” cause the opposite effect. People are more stressed, less calm.  Anxiety and frustration increase. Our relationships suffer. We are NOT happy.

If this is your story- would you want to change it?

The Sage Perspective

First, adapt the Sage Perspective. In Positive Intelligence, we train in Mental Fitness; the ability to shift the challenges in our lives from something that we dread to something that provides us with a gift and opportunity. If to stay in shape we go to the gym, exercise our bodies 3-5 days per week, why would we not give the same attention to our brains? When we work to sharpen our brains to stay calm, clear laser focus in what we do, feeling a sense of positivity, curiosity, love and joy, we tell our brains “We are worth it.” And the more we do, the stronger we become, the less lies we let into our brains. By consistently practicing Positive Intelligence techniques, we are creating new neural pathways in our brain that will help us “locate the positivity” that is already embedded within.

We cannot fight an enemy that we don’t see or know exists. Exposing the lies gives us a chance at achieving the life we always want, the happiness, calmness, and positivity we desire.

Mental Exercises

Consider practicing these mental exercises.

• Awareness. The first step to making any lasting change is being aware of our mindset. Instead of allowing our brains to rule us, we rule our brain. Understand that our thoughts impact our emotions. Our emotions and our thoughts impact our behavior. Our behavior, thoughts and emotions impact our performance, creating our mindset. What would you like your mindset to be?

• Intercept and anticipate. How? By doing PQ reps. I know, I just dropped a concept you may not recognize. PQ stands for Positive Intelligence Quotient, measuring the strength of positive mental muscles versus the negative. The higher our PQ, the greater predictive measurement of how happy we are, and how well we perform against our potential.

• Practice PQ for at least 15 minutes a day by using these techniques: Breath. Touch something for a few minutes with your eyes closed. Listen to faraway sounds, listen to your own breath. Empty your mind. When thoughts come into your mind, quickly let them go. Think less. It takes practice, don’t give up.

• Preempt your mind.  By activating the right side of our brains, we allow the exploration stage to widen our “brain vision.” So often we think analytically and rationally. While there is a place for that, more benefit will be gained by awakening the sage part of our brain, the non-rational part of our being.

• After a PQ session, do a gentle contemplation by asking:
  
  
  • What else do I need to know about me, others and the situation before making any move?
  • How can I turn this thought into a gift and opportunity?
  • Can I cultivate empathy when this thought enters my mind?
  • Can I find curiosity and learn more about the situation which causes me stress and fear?
  • Can I be creative in exploring other venues/solutions that would bring me joy?
  • Can I invite my wiser older self into this scenario? What would she tell me? What meaning and purpose can I glean?
  • What actions can I take today to train my brain to expose the lies moving forward?

• Stay in the PQ channel. There are two channels of operations. The channel located on the rational side of our brain, mostly left brain, is called the data channel. While it may be good for logic and analytics, emotions and intuition are on the PQ channel, located mostly on the right side of our brains. The more you are in the PQ channel, the more often you will be willing to experience and explore the positivity around you. 

Mental Exercises

When we go through these steps, the end result: transformation and self-actualization. Transforming our fears into our strengths by exposing the lies our brains tell us will reveal the core essence of who we are, our true potential, the champion within!

To Positivity!

Dorice Horenstein

Dorice Horenstein offers keynotes and workshops designed to make a real difference—not just in the room, but long after your team returns to work. Her sessions are tailored to tackle the challenges your teams face today and every day, by working with leaders and teams to create environments where people feel connected, empowered, and inspired to rise above challenges. Dorice is #45 certified in Positive Intelligence in the world, ensuring she brings not only excellence but effective and inspiring tools to the table.

Dorice can be reached at [email protected] or www.doricehorenstein.com.

To Positivity!

Are You An Event Planner? Click Here for the Event Planner Media Page. Let’s talk! Choose a time that works for you!

Connect with me on LinkedIn 

Get inspired! Read about my book, Moments of the Heart Four Relationships Everyone Should Have to Live Wholeheartedly.

Doricehorenstein.com ICC, ICF, CPQC 503-708-7675